In the wake of tragedy

On Friday, December 14th, 2012 a gunman walked into a Connecticut elementary school and changed the way every parent in the nation looked at their child that night.

In the wake of the most deadly school shooting most are stunned, and saddened, or even outraged. We wear these emotions and our children are affected by our response. There’s no way to go about your day and act as if nothing has happened when we are all holding our kids a little closer today. We must find a way to do something with these feelings, however. Our children are learning from our actions how they should behave after something so tragic has occurred.

Is it healthy to watch the news and see these images over and over? Most likely not, especially for younger children who are still forming their ideas of where they are safe.

Is it a good idea to cry outwardly in front of our children? To a degree yes, they need to see that you are affected and you mourn for the losses of other parents.

Should you talk to them about the shooting? Yes. Simply because they are going to hear about it, and if you don’t talk to them you can’t control what they understand. Make sure to be supportive when you do and validate their feelings.

Will it hurt them if you do nothing? No, but it will teach them that when others hurt it’s okay to sit on the sidelines and watch.

Mr. Rodgers is quoted to have said, “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’ To this day, especially in times of ‘disaster,’ I remember my mother’s words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world.”

Definitely look for the helpers, but I say take it a step further. Show your children that you are not powerless to the evils of the world; you can stand up and help others. Be a helper yourself. Find a way you can support and help those in need.

Be empowered to make changes in this world.

If you or your child is struggling to understand or to overcome fears, a licensed therapist can help. Schedule an appointment today.