Managing your distress in the aftermath of a shooting

Managing your distress in the aftermath of a shooting

You may be struggling to understand how a shooting could occur and why such a terrible thing would happen. There may never be satisfactory answers to these questions.

We do know, though, that it is typical for people to experience a variety of emotions following such a traumatic event. These feelings can include shock, sorrow, numbness, fear, anger, disillusionment, grief and others. You may find that you have trouble sleeping, concentrating, eating or remembering even simple tasks. This is common and should pass after a while. Over time, the caring support of family and friends can help to lessen the emotional impact and ultimately make the changes brought about by the tragedy more manageable. You may feel that the world is a more dangerous place today than you did yesterday. It will take some time to recover your sense of equilibrium.

Meanwhile, you may wonder how to go on living your daily life. You can strengthen your resilience — the ability to adapt well in the face of adversity — in the days and weeks ahead.

Here are some tips:

  • Talk about it. Ask for support from people who care about you and who will listen to your concerns. Receiving support and care can be comforting and reassuring. It often helps to speak with others who have shared your experience so you do not feel so different or alone.
  • Strive for balance. When a tragedy occurs, it’s easy to become overwhelmed and have a negative or pessimistic outlook. Balance that viewpoint by reminding yourself of people and events which are meaningful and comforting, even encouraging. Striving for balance empowers you and allows for a healthier perspective on yourself and the world around you.
  • Turn it off and take a break. You may want to keep informed, but try to limit the amount of news you take in whether it’s from the Internet, television, newspapers or magazines. While getting the news informs you, being overexposed to it can actually increase your stress. The images can be very powerful in reawakening your feeling of distress. Also, schedule some breaks to distract yourself from thinking about the incident and focus instead on something you enjoy. Try to do something that will lift your spirits.
  • Honor your feelings. Remember that it is common to have a range of emotions after a traumatic incident. You may experience intense stress similar to the effects of a physical injury. For example, you may feel exhausted, sore or off balance.
  • Take care of yourself. Engage in healthy behaviors to enhance your ability to cope with excessive stress. Eat well-balanced meals, get plenty of rest and build physical activity into your day. Avoid alcohol and drugs because they can suppress your feelings rather than help you to manage and lessen your distress. In addition, alcohol and drugs may intensify your emotional or physical pain. Establish or re-establish routines such as eating meals at regular times and following an exercise program. If you are having trouble sleeping, try some relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing, meditation or yoga.
  • Help others or do something productive. Locate resources in your community on ways that you can help people who have been affected by this incident, or have other needs. Helping someone else often has the benefit of making you feel better, too.
  • If you have recently lost friends or family in this or other tragedies. Remember that grief is a long process. Give yourself time to experience your feelings and to recover. For some, this might involve staying at home; for others it may mean getting back to your daily routine. Dealing with the shock and trauma of such an event will take time. It is typical to expect many ups and downs, including “survivor guilt” — feeling bad that you escaped the tragedy while others did not.

For many people, using the tips and strategies mentioned above may be sufficient to get through the current crisis. At times, however an individual can get stuck or have difficulty managing intense reactions. A licensed mental health professional such as a psychologist can assist you in developing an appropriate strategy for moving forward. It is important to get professional help if you feel like you are unable to function or perform basic activities of daily living.

Recovering from such a tragic event may seem difficult to imagine. Persevere and trust in your ability to get through the challenging days ahead. Taking the steps in this guide can help you cope at this very difficult time.

If you are struggling to understand or to overcome fears, a licensed therapist can help. Schedule an appointment today.

Original article may be found at:
This tip sheet was made possible with help from the following APA members: Dewey Cornell, PhD, Richard A. Heaps, PhD, Jana Martin, PhD, H. Katherine O’Neill, PhD, Karen Settle, PhD, Peter Sheras, PhD, Phyllis Koch-Sheras, PhD, and members of Division 17.

If you care, you’ll find the time.

No matter how “busy” a person is, they will always find time for something they value.

So what does that say about your life? What are you putting off doing? Who do you keep forgetting?

If you really look at your own actions, what is really happening when you put off cleaning the house? Where are your priorities?

What about when you put off going to the doctor, or dealing with your medication? Where are your priorities?

How about exercising?

If we are just too busy to take care of ourselves, what does that say? That we are not our own priority? That we don’t care enough about ourselves to make the time? That watching the latest and greatest reality TV show is more important than our health?

If you really put it into black and white, every time you put off your own needs you are telling yourself that you’re not worth it… and if you don’t think you’re worth it then why should anyone else?

If you’re ready to value yourself, counseling can help. A licensed therapist can help you recognize your priorities. Schedule an appointment today… Find direction in your life.

Life isn’t fair…

Do you ever wonder why life isn’t fair?
It starts with… Suzy got a new doll, Bobby got a new bike, I should have it, not them.
Then… Billy got an A on that test and he didn’t even study… I worked so hard and I still failed.
Next thing you know it’s… Why did Sally get that raise? I work twice as hard as she does?

All of that turns into resentment and negative feelings about the other person, the situation, yourself. We become jaded because of the inequalities we experience.

But let’s flip the coin…
Take two siblings… The older one no longer needs the constant attention of an infant- is it fair to give each child the same amount of attention?
What if they both get in trouble? Should a 2 year old and a 6 year old have the exact same punishment?

Life isn’t equal, but that doesn’t mean it’s not fair. We get what we need out of life… The cards fall like they should to get us to where we need to be. It’s not fair, or equal, or just… It just is.

We all muddle through life making the best decisions we can, but sometimes we get ourselves stuck in circular logic… Patterns of thought that don’t let us enjoy an experience just because it is… Patterns that we can’t get out of because life isn’t fair.

If you’re stuck in a pattern of thinking, counseling can help. A licensed therapist can help you work through it and find light at the end of the tunnel. Schedule an appointment today… Get the advice you need.